Originally written: 10/19/17, Modified: 10/20/17
~Yesterday, I cried in the afternoon just about as many times as it rained outside in the morning. Then I thought, I must be a reflection of nature from which I came. The current and eternal wave of consciousness I’m riding is called: “Life is beautiful“. Even though I hit the lowest of lows yesterday… I have so much hope because of where I’ve always seen myself in the future and no desire to give up anymore. I did and almost dwelled on giving up but I fought it, thank the Universe for guiding me out of that. These words aren’t even in my vocabulary anymore. Why should they be? When the going gets tough, the opportune time is right in front of me.
There was this lingering sense of sadness in me though. Maybe a feeling of uselessness or feeling unworthy, though intellectually I know I’m both useful (you are to: in changing the world for the better) and absolutely worthy of love, blessings, and abundance. What’s stopping me from total happiness and growth? It can’t be that I’m just self sabotaging all the time. Is there negative energy around me? Either way, I continue to purge and cleanse myself of my own negative energy often! I’ll fight seasonal depression harder than ever this year because my soul needs me to desperately. I’m too hungry for success to be defeated. Today, I’m victorious, nothing less.
*light, love, and life,
“That was a long time ago, that was yesterday” – Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver